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Well I got my answer and it wasnt the one either of us wanted but it was the one i expected. I wish her luck but as I told her its all or nothing with me. I can't come back and immediately be friends with someone who I am still deeply in love with. I would be way to conflicted and unable to deal with the whole situation. Maybe in 6 months to a year we can be friends again.

Oh well, back to glaring across the room and pointedly ignoring her. Cause I want to puke when I see her cause I've lost her. This too will pass, but till it does its going to suck.

In other news, I'm a broke ass, I want to go to Embers tonight but I'd be drinking on the mercy of my friends, so who's feeling mercyful?